Stop making me watch content

a rant

Really. As much as I appreciate our new age means of staying in touch with friends and family we don’t actively converse with, I sometimes dread having to open a chat filled with reels to watch. Even if there’s one. I must watch it because I then have to react or respond to acknowledge that this thing made them think of me/the group chat. Truth is, I just don’t want to have to consume content against my will. Even when I open the Instagram app, I feel like I’m consuming against my will. There is nothing inherently satisfying about an Instagram scroll - it is often an emotionally draining vortex of doom, in fact. I also never really rewatch anything that I save. God knows what’s collecting data-dust in my collection of saved things.

I also then feel I must reciprocate by sharing things I see in the same vein. I don’t think this was as annoying with static posts. Reels are a whole other thing you have to get through. I also do not dispute that they are entertaining and sometimes mildly informative, and sometimes they contain a sweet little message that makes me go aw, and feel connected to the sender. But I just…don’t wanna have to consume content. And this also isn’t to throw shade at anyone who sends me things, I love and cherish both you and the cute fact that I’m up there on your list of sendees.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about how keeping up with content is akin to a sport. It requires keeping up with and being well-versed in. There’s also new language every few months, sometimes weeks, who knows. Once that language seeps in, there’s no going back. I can no longer say ‘it’s giving so and so vibes’. I can only say ‘it’s giving’. Also everything is a POV. Also when describing myself doing a literal thing, it must be prefixed with ‘not’ me doing this thing. Everything is ironic and sardonic. I no longer know what is real.

I’m glad I’m not on TikTok, but I do also quite enjoy filming them from time to time with friends who do use it. Everything I am saying is in actuality not that deep or dramatic. But as someone who flip flops between sometimes over usage of the screen and deleting the app for a week only to fall back into the content trap, I’m just like.. ab mein kya hi karoon? Content makes the world go round. Content that makes money makes it go even rounder. And tangential thought: as lovely as a reel of my painting process looks afterwards, the actual making of the painting was a fraught and distracted process because I had my phone up filming it. And then I post it and it doesn’t give me as much attention as the algorithm said it would, and I’m like oh, well, what a waste. The narcissist in me is not satisfied.

Just now, in the process of writing this, my mum came into my room to say ‘Did you watch this?’ and proceeded to show me a reel of a cute Welsh-accented girl talking about something silly and entertaining, and I laughed, and felt mildly amused for those 20 seconds, and now here I am…with more content for this post.

It’s nuts!!!

Today I decided to not check my phone after waking up until at least noon. I lasted till 10:30, about 3 hours after getting up from bed. It was good, those 3 hours were peaceful. As a prioritizer of peace, I guess all I can do is stretch the time I don’t have to see, keep my blinders on. Then introduce a small pocket into my day for the cats and the babies and the desi totkas. They too have their part to play I suppose.