The secret language of girls

Over the last year or so, I’ve been owning the fact that perhaps I’m not as much of an introvert as I thought. The most logical explanation is that maybe I was hanging out with the ‘wrong’ people for a lot of my teens that made me believe this about myself, and the other explanation is that I’ve changed.

One of the things that I’ve noticed in my adventures out of home is the magic of connecting with women. There’s this girl who I’ve been running into sporadically within the last year, and I first recognized her from the library that I used to sit in for hours on end studying for my O and A levels. I told her this the first time I met her and since then, either because of the existing connection or just the energy between us, I run into her at random and I feel only warmth and goodness. After our most recent interaction, I followed her on Instagram as soon as I remembered to and she messaged me almost instantly, mirroring my feelings. No games, no fear of creepiness, just honest expression of appreciation.

I realized that this is how I feel with nearly all the women (i’m going to use the term women to encompass alllll of the feminine) that I meet either once, or on a recurring basis, or with months or years apart. We’ll hug and touch and smile and dance and flow in and out of space and time with each other with a sense of safety and full presence.

Last night I went to an event at one of the few community spaces that exist in Karachi, ironically in one of the most ‘unsafe’ neighborhoods of the city. It’s called Girls Night. The entry ticket isn’t cheap, as a result of which the demographic is of a certain ‘type’. But we’ll take what we can get. This was the second time I’ve attended a girls night, and each time it’s been an expansive and euphoric experience. I see girls dancing without even the thought of a man looking at them and the way they move is spectacular. Everyone’s a freak, everyone’s a goddess. There’s almost no self-conscious glancing around. There is so much light energy. I ran into some of the girls I know in my life, from yoga class, from my literal childhood, from instagram, from school (all of my schools & alma maters) and we met each other like we were best friends. I could hold onto a girl’s hand for 5 whole seconds and I would not question her intentions with my body.

Towards the end of the night, I was with my friends towards the front of the stage, with a view of the rest of the dancefloor, dancing to the DJ’s funky version of ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ (classic). And I thought about my chosen research topic for my final year of school, which is about freedom. And I felt so much love towards every being in front of me.

While we were leaving this utopic space, passing the bouncers and ticket guys at the entrance felt close to a walk of shame. And why? Because we were allowed to be ourselves for two and a half hours and they knew it? Upon exiting the premises I re-entered the reality of a world not just with men in it, but one in which women are essentially invisible.

We shouldn’t have to pay a premium fee in order to enter a safe space. While that’s definitely one of the points I would like to make here, I think the main one is the language of love with which women speak to one another. Beneath that love is a deep and unspoken understanding of what it is like to be us in this world, and that's why we make eye contact, we hug, we kiss, we text when we reach our front door, we instantly add each other on instagram. I can’t hold back on the cheesiness of this realization; it really is a secret language of love. <3